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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25010503">Reasonable Members of Society</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/oldestcharm/pseuds/oldestcharm'>oldestcharm</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>James Bond (Craig movies), James Bond - All Media Types</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Drabble Collection, F/F, F/M, Gen, Humor, M/M</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-07-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 05:36:01</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,100</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25010503</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/oldestcharm/pseuds/oldestcharm</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>31 drabbles for 007 Fest 2020.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Eve Moneypenny/Q, Eve Moneypenny/Severine, James Bond &amp; Alec Trevelyan, James Bond &amp; Eve Moneypenny, James Bond &amp; Felix Leiter, James Bond &amp; M | Olivia Mansfield, James Bond &amp; Vesper Lynd, James Bond/Madeleine Swann, James Bond/Q, James Bond/Vesper Lynd, Q &amp; Bill Tanner</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>278</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>75</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>007 Fest Fancreations</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Vanity</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>I will be adding more tags as I go along. I'm afraid there will be quite a bit more than my usual, but I'd rather have people find them. You're also justified in wanting to punch me in the face. &lt;3</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>As Alec goes to take a leak, James uses the opportunity to inspect his reflection in the surface of the silver spoon, inexplicably left at their table. They're in a <em>proper</em> pub, they're eating <em>proper</em> pub food and no one's got any fucking soup.</p><p>Still, <em>looking alright</em>, James muses, running his fingers through the short hairs to make them stick up in a way he thinks is rather artistic. The silver also brings out his eyes, which he finds endlessly captivating and there's a certain—</p><p>"What the actual fuck are you doing?"</p><p>When James looks up, Alec's laugh is hysterical.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Gourmet</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>After all, it is food day...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"For heaven's sake. Why didn't you just tell me it's disgusting?"</p>
<p>"I didn't want to hurt your feelings."</p>
<p>"Had you said so earlier, I would have ordered takeaway and spent those five hours doing something actually <em>productive</em>."</p>
<p>James swirls some of the soggy spaghetti onto his fork and inspects it with horror. "You spent <em>five</em> hours on this?"</p>
<p>Q frowns. "Is that not how long it should take?"</p>
<p>"I've spent less time on a gourmet meal."</p>
<p>"You can cook?" Q throws up his hands in exasperation. "Then why would you put us through this torture?"</p>
<p>"Torture?" James asks, lips twitching.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Decorate</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A tiny bit of cheer before tomorrow.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"What on Earth are those?" Eve asks, eyes widening in horror as she steps into her office.</p>
<p>"Christmas decorations!" M says cheerfully as he sticks another paper snowflake on her gorgeous pearl river blue wall. She had picked out the shade herself.</p>
<p>"It's July!" A twinge in her heart makes her wonder if she's at risk of a heart attack.</p>
<p>"I like Christmas." M shrugs and pulls out some gaudy garland from the box on Eve's beautiful mahogany desk, now tainted by this nonsense. She tries not to think of all the extra work she's going to have to do.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Bullet</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Less fun than the previous ones, but hey — the ending is up to interpretation!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Q bursts into giggles. Moneypenny and M stare at him as though he's lost the goddamn plot. This entire situation is so out of his control. Q really doesn't know what to do with that.</p>
<p>"Q? Q, are you alright?"</p>
<p>"Yes," he says automatically and then has to press his hand tighter against his side, because... "Well, no actually. The bullet hurts like a motherfucker."</p>
<p>"The— the bullet?!"</p>
<p>Q gasps another laugh. "I'm gonna have to sit down," he lowers himself to the ground. He feels dizzy and his vision is swimming.</p>
<p>His head hits the pavement with a thud.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Abroad</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I always imagined he's had some wild teenage years only Dench!M knew about...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Q glances between the mission file and M's placating expression.</p>
<p>"Absolutely not."</p>
<p>M's eyebrows go up faster than the new car Q's just finished assembling. "This is an important mission—"</p>
<p>Q groans. "In <em>Canada</em>."</p>
<p>"What's wrong with Canada?" Bond asks with the lack of subtlety unbecoming of a secret agent.</p>
<p>"Nothing. Well—" Q shrugs. "I'm banned from Canada."</p>
<p>"Banned?"</p>
<p>"As in not allowed to enter on penalty of incapacitation."</p>
<p>"Any other countries I should know about?" M asks jokingly.</p>
<p>He clears his throat. "Argentina."</p>
<p>"What?"</p>
<p>"I also have arrest warrants out in six different countries," Q adds, biting his lip.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Tea</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Moneypenny Monday!! :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Eve watches Q prepare tea.</p>
<p>There is something captivating about his movements, she can't tear her eyes away. His long elegant fingers tap on the counter as he waits for water to boil. Eve wants to draw them into her mouth. She watches with rapt attention as they dig in his trouser pockets, closing on a sachet. He tears it open with sharp teeth and Eve's breath catches—</p>
<p>It's a condom.</p>
<p>Eve sees an opportunity. She puts on her best smile and slides up to a baffled Q, fingers stroking along his lovely cardigan. "No need to waste, is there?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Closet</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Your closet is empty," Camille says as she emerges from James' bedroom.</p><p>James sets down his coffee and quirks a brow. "What were you expecting to find?"</p><p>"The worst case scenario?" Camille grins and settles onto the bar stool across from him. "Clothes."</p><p>"I don't follow."</p><p>"You can't possibly live here."</p><p>"Of course I can," he insists, because <em>really</em>?</p><p>"No, I mean you literally don't live here, James. So who'd you shack up with?"</p><p>Acquiescing, James shows her his lock screen, depicting Q and the cats.</p><p>To Camille's credit, she only looks mildly surprised before— "I want to meet him."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0008"><h2>8. Footage</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Welcome to OC's even in drabbles world. Also, fuck that guy.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Q looks downright furious when they finally sit down for a pint.</p><p>"What happened to you?" Bill asks and he feels almost guilty for his unmitigated serenity. He watches with amusement as Q gulps down at least half of his drink and points a finger at him.</p><p>"Psych Department, that's what happened. Fucking Hughes — I want to <em>ruin</em> him."</p><p>"You know, I once punched the bastard. It was worth all the reprimands."</p><p>Q perks up at that. "Any chance there's a recording of it?"</p><p>"They got rid of it, I'm afraid. But if anyone can recover the footage, it's you."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0009"><h2>9. Bedroom</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I need to up my clickbait game—</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"This isn't just the honeymoon phase, is it?" James asks, flat on his back and breathless as he side-eyes Q, who is in the process of shooing his cats out of the bedroom once more.</p><p>"Can't keep up, old man?"</p><p>The door falls shut with a satisfying <em>click</em>.</p><p>James snorts. "Don't be ridiculous. Although, you are surprisingly high maintenance."</p><p>Q turns, his grin almost predatory. "I figured that'd be obvious."</p><p>He climbs back onto the bed, drapes James's legs across his thighs and drags his teeth over a nipple. There's a heated look below dark eyelashes. "Want to go again?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0010"><h2>10. Light</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>You guys kept telling me chapter 4 was rude so here's a sequel for that.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Q squints at the white ceiling. It's never any good when it's a white ceiling, but then again... it's not a dark tunnel and he's not actively chasing the light so he figures he's doing alright.</p><p>"I was going to leave, you know," a voice comes from his right, "but then you had to get shot."</p><p>"Sorry I ruined your plans," Q says with a healthy amount of vexation. His side fucking hurts and Bond's here talking about his <em>personal problems</em>. The fucker has no right.</p><p>"No, you're not," Bond says, hovering above him.</p><p>Q snorts. "What gave it away?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0011"><h2>11. Late</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You're late," James says, scowling at Q when he finally emerges from the Tube. Q merely hikes up his messenger bag and kisses him on his cheek with an amused smile on his lips.</p><p>"I know I'm capable of many very impressive things, dear, but even I can't make the trains run faster."</p><p>James squints at him, assessing. "Can't you?"</p><p>Q blinks at him, tilts his head. "I don't— maybe? I've never tried it before."</p><p>"Well, you should. I've been waiting for—" James glances down at his watch, the one Q <em>knows</em> doesn't actually tell the time. "—almost three minutes!"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0012"><h2>12. Organise</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Oh boy, someone clearly needs new and better ideas.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>James catches Q stroking something purring on the floor, except that thing certainly isn't a cat. Mostly, because the cat is hissing at it from the top of the dresser. And <em>that</em> down there is round and metal and—</p>
<p>"Are you petting a Roomba?"</p>
<p>Q sounds haughty as he says: "I'm upgrading it. It's clearly not efficient enough."</p>
<p>James glances around the room and wonders if Q has any clue how cleaning actually works. Every surface of the room is covered in gadgets and whatnot. James heaves a heavy sigh.</p>
<p>"You still have to put things away, Q," he insists.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0013"><h2>13. Cat</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You've— you've <em>usurped</em> my cat," Q accuses.</p>
<p>"Which one?" Bond asks and Q narrows his eyes.</p>
<p>It's a good question, because in front of him are <em>three</em> cats and he's not entirely sure which of them to blame. Of course it's a relief that they can all play nice with one another, but Q can barely feed himself and he doesn't have time for this bullshit. He wants to come home, eat instant noodles and settle in with the girls. He wants to get drunk and invent stupid gadgets that have no real purpose. <em>Bond</em> doesn't factor into his plans.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0014"><h2>14. Target</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>We're redoing the Severine scenes from Skyfall to benefit Eve, sorry not sorry.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Eve," James says with a sigh of defeat, glancing between her and their target. Dark red lips, smokey eye, a sparkling black dress and not even one inch of her attention is focused on James. "Change of plans."</p>
<p>Eve looks at him, tracks his gaze with a sharp eye that improves his faith in her despite the bullet wound from not so long ago.</p>
<p>"Oh," she says, obviously catching on to what James is getting at.</p>
<p>James resists rolling his eyes. "Oh?"</p>
<p>Her expression shifts into something rather leering. "Well, I'm not opposed. You aren't upset, are you?"</p>
<p>James snorts.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0015"><h2>15. Possess</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Now I'm just stealing ideas from Downtime. Shame on you, Ella!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>James squints at the ugly porcelain bulldog and the bulldog squints back. They're both prepared to have a proper staring match, it seems. James is <em>motivated</em> and not only because he is fairly certain the bloody thing's possessed by M's spirit. He's bound to catch her out eventually. Perhaps he could set up cameras in his flat. He could even ask Q for help, although that particular course of action would have the man questioning him and James isn't sure if he's ready to face the consequences. There's being slightly unhinged and then there is being a <em>complete fucking nutjob</em>.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0016"><h2>16. Body</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Late updates, but I'm catching up again. Sorry, guys!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Alec collapses next to his own body, exhausted. "They didn't even notice! How could they not notice?!"</p>
<p>James is pouting at the selfie app on his phone and Alec can't tear his eyes away from the foreign expression on his own face. "Maybe it's like— no one expects it, right? You don't just look at people you know and think '<em>hey, maybe they've switched bodies</em>'. That would be stupid."</p>
<p>"I bet Q did this," Alec says, finally voicing his suspicions. "He told me to give this to you. Well, me. You?"</p>
<p>Alec hands him a mirror.</p>
<p>James looks utterly betrayed.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0017"><h2>17. Football</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This didn't turn out as well as I'd hoped. :(</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"It's Saturday, mate. Time to go."</p>
<p>Bill's unsurprised to see three pairs of eyes look up at him. Despite Q's better efforts, all senior MI6 employees seem to have decided that his office is the newest gathering place for hot gossip. Bill's fairly certain it's Bond's doing. He's starting to get a bad case of second hand embarrassment.</p>
<p>"Go where?" Bond demands, clearly upset. Bill tries not to groan.</p>
<p>"Football," Q says, a somewhat maniacal gleam in his eyes.</p>
<p>"Why don't you just watch it here?" Trevelyan asks, pointing at the screens.</p>
<p>Q stares at him. "We're <em>playing</em>, you idiot."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0018"><h2>18. Mission</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I can't stop thinking about that painting swap between the films...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>It's been half an hour since he started on this mission, but the painting on the wall doesn't seem to budge. M scowls at it, as though having a staring contest with it will make it come down.</p>
<p>"What? Is it stuck here with superglue?" he grumbles, making a last desperate attempt at getting rid of the bad memories.</p>
<p>Predictably, it doesn't work.</p>
<p>With a defeated sigh, he picks up his phone. "007. I have a mission for you."</p>
<p> </p>
<p>Later, with Bond in his office, he regrets his resolve. Nothing is worth Bond laughing at him for three hours straight.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0019"><h2>19. Glitter</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Everything I write should have both glitter and blood in it at some point. It's how I know I've created something magnificent. &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Why's he covered in glitter?" Eve asks, eyebrows climbing to the ceiling as the four of them watch Alec make his way towards them, constantly interrupted by Q's minions. One of them goes as far as to kiss him on the cheek, leaving behind a bright red lipstick mark.</p><p>"Probably came from a strip club," James guesses with half a shrug.</p><p>Bill snorts and checks his watch. "It's barely 6 am!"</p><p>"It's his birthday," Q says with a long suffering sigh.</p><p>"Oh yeah, but why do <em>you</em> know that?"</p><p>"Jenny made him an exploding card. In my pristine fucking lab."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0020"><h2>20. Rules</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I think I'm starting to run out of ideas...</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Q has a gun pointed at Bond, because once again, the man is sitting in his living room <em>without an invitation</em>. Q's eyes flicker to the window and what remains of his lock.</p>
<p>"Enough of this," he says and digs into his pocket for his spare key which he holds up threateningly. "If you insist on crashing here, I have rules."</p>
<p>"Which are?" Bond asks with what seems to be genuine curiosity.</p>
<p>"You clean off the blood yourself, you replace the booze you drink and you enter via the goddamn door. Can you do that?"</p>
<p>"I'll do my best, Q."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0021"><h2>21. Truth</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Haven't had the chance to write for a while bc I've been working on renovating the flat, but I managed to catch up this morning with only about an hour and half of writing time.</p><p>So here's a really depressing AU where Q is Vesper's little brother. :)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>James finds the pictures as he's snooping around Q's flat without permission. He feels a pang of guilt, then anger, then confusion. He doesn't know if Q knows, but he figures he <em>must</em>, because Q has access to all files in MI6 — <em>would have</em> even if he didn't have clearance — and James' file is blatantly transparent.</p><p>It's just that it's Vesper.</p><p>Right there in many, many pictures. He flips one of them, only to see Vesper's handwriting.</p><p>'<em>Keep out of trouble for once, baby brother. I'll be back from Venice soon,</em>' it says.</p><p>James feels chills running down his spine.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0022"><h2>22. Trust</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>A sequel to the previous chapter.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You had <em>no right</em>!" Q hisses and James has never before seen him this furious. He looks as though he'd very much like to strangle James with his bare hands. Or at the very least punch him in the face. Repeatedly. His face is flushed and James can see his hands fisted and shaking with poorly disguised rage.</p>
<p>But the thing is that James trusts Q. Has from the very beginning, except now he isn't so sure. "You didn't tell me," he whispers, utterly lost.</p>
<p>Q blinks. "It's your fault she's dead. I don't owe you anything."</p>
<p>And that's that.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0023"><h2>23. Genie</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Smth more cheerful!</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"You get three wishes," Q tells him with an almost abashed smile. It looks so innocent, so very shy, but James has a reason to be wary of it. He can see the firmly suppressed sharpness and he's seen the way Q smirks in that delightfully satisfied way when he thinks no one is looking. It's almost endearing, in a terrifying way.</p>
<p>"Does everyone get three or am I special?" James asks, leaning closer flirtatiously.</p>
<p>It does the trick.</p>
<p>Q snorts, immediately giving the game away. "You're all special."</p>
<p>'<em>Got him</em>!' James thinks and smiles warmly. "So where's the catch?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0024"><h2>24. Blood</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Q is not a damsel in distress, ok? :'D</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Why are you covered in blood? You're not even on active duty," M says, eyes narrowing at the sight of James' bloody shirt and nose.</p><p>"I was bored."</p><p>"And the blood?" She looks resigned.</p><p>"Q needed a sparring partner."</p><p>M pinches the bridge of her nose. "Please tell me you didn't beat up the Quartermaster."</p><p>"It was a surprisingly equal fight. He's rather graceful."</p><p>James only realises he forgot to school his expression into something less besotted when it's far too late.</p><p>"If you know what's good for you, you stay away from him."</p><p>James smiles. "You know I won't."</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0025"><h2>25. Time</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>More Vesper, but like — less depressing.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Vesper appears in the middle of the night as she so often does. James hasn't quite decided whether she's a ghost or his own fucked up imagination, but it doesn't really matter. He groans, propping himself up on his elbows. "What is it now?"</p><p>"I see you've found someone," she says, not unkindly.</p><p>James glances at Q beside him, on his stomach, head buried under the pillow and snoring rather loudly.</p><p>"Do you trust him?" she asks, sounding almost hopeful.</p><p>"Is this really the time?" James asks, deflecting.</p><p>"It is," she insists. "I think I rather like him."</p><p>James smiles.</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0026"><h2>26. Fish</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I love ghost koi. &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>James looks on curiously as Q leans over the pond as though he's never seen fish before. He seems almost too interested and though they've been dating on and off for a while, James has never seen him this enthusiastic unless, it involves explosives or something ridiculous like spreadsheets.</p><p>"I thought you wouldn't like fish," he says, with more honesty than he'd originally intended.</p><p>"Of course I like fish. Why wouldn't I?"</p><p>"I'm just picturing you feeding the poor bastards to the girls."</p><p>"Tuna. I give tuna to my cats, not bloody koi fish. What is wrong with you, James?"</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0027"><h2>27. Youthful</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>It's my bday tomorrow so this is pure self-indulgence here. :'D</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>James stops in front of Moneypenny's desk. She is arse to elbow up in paperwork, but James has just recently figured out her birthday and he's even got a present for her.</p><p>She looks up, suspicious. "What?"</p><p>James sets the gift bag on her desk. "It's not every day a woman turns twenty eight, is it?"</p><p>Moneypenny blinks. "I'm thirty six."</p><p>He smiles at that. "I didn't want to assume."</p><p>She still looks suspicious, but she tugs the bag closer and peers inside. Her eyebrows shoot up as she digs the carton box out of the bag, incredulous.</p><p>"Epsom salts?"</p>
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<a name="section0028"><h2>28. Hypocrisy</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yesterday's bc I was too busy to post by the end of it. &lt;3</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>James rather agrees with M's reasoning to send Q along with him now that he has seen what the man can do. Being a wizard with technology and not entirely shabby at fighting makes Q a valuable companion. That said, nothing compares to his skill with cats. Or rather his skill with Blofeld's cat who has abandoned his master (and tripped him over a balcony with seemingly no remorse) in favour of Q himself. James thinks back to the day Q had flung out some serious accusations and flashes a grin.</p><p>"Usurped your cats, did I? Hypocrite."</p><p>Q's lips twitch.</p>
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<a name="section0029"><h2>29. Death</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Q narrows his eyes and points a finger at James. "You're dying first. Obviously. I'm too clever for that."</p><p>"You'll get held hostage or something, I know you will," James insists.</p><p>"You're only saying that because you're petty and drunk."</p><p>"Both of which apply to you as well." James holds out his glass for Q to refill who does it with only mild annoyance.</p><p>"Doesn't negate any of my points," Q tells him, quite reasonably in his opinion.</p><p>"I think you're both going to die before me," Eve says from Q's own comfortable armchair. "I'm state secrets. You're both... replaceable."</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Spoiler alert: they're all wrong and Tanner's the one who's going to survive the longest bc he's not an idiot.</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0030"><h2>30. Mourn</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>:(</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Madeleine likes to think of herself as a smart woman, but right now, standing a few feet away from James, she thinks she might just be an absolute idiot. Or perhaps she's just been wilfully blind. Either way, she sees it now. She sees the way James strokes the goddamn car, how he mutters under his breath, morose as though he's <em>mourning</em>. When he spots her, his expression goes carefully blank and Madeleine thinks it's time for both of them to face the truth.</p><p>"James," she says, her hand on his cheek. "I think it's time for you to go."</p>
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<a name="section0031"><h2>31. Explode</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>Yes, the double meanings. ;)</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"What was that?" Felix asks, watching with a sort of horrified amusement as the building goes up in flames.</p><p>"An exploding pen."</p><p>Everyone on the enemy team is dead, which means they can afford some casual conversation. They haven't seen one another in a while, after all.</p><p>Felix quirks a brow. "Your quartermaster... not a fan of the twenty first century?"</p><p>James tries not to laugh at the absurdity of the statement. "Believe me, I've never met anyone more modern. I just played by his rules to earn this, Felix."</p><p>"Must have been hard for you."</p><p>"<em>So hard</em>," James agrees.</p>
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